Thursday, 2 September 2021

Ten Times Happier by Owen O'Kane


Modern life is a minefield for stress. Whether it’s juggling work, relationships or money, we often get stuck mindlessly obsessing about all the wrong things, not knowing what to let go of.
In TEN TIMES HAPPIER, Owen O’Kane reveals how to choose new, healthier perspectives and ditch harmful patterns in the 10 key areas we all overthink about or manage poorly, including:
• the past
• our minds
• other people
• worry
• our behaviours
• the future
Using the latest evidence-based tools and techniques from across a range of therapies including CBT, mindfulness and interpersonal  therapy, Owen provides empowering solutions to managing what keeps you stuck so you can move forward.
Want a down-to-earth guide from a professional on HOW you can become happier, minus the fairy dust?

I am always found with my head in a book craving the joy of the characters and pure escapism to whisk me away from day to day life. Today I am reviewing a completely different book which I read in the hope that rather than finding a fictional character’s happiness I may find a glimmer of my own in Ten Times Happier by Owen O’Kane.

I have read so many books in the past year on, happiness, positive thinking and self help and if I am completely honest with you I think the money back in my pocket would have been more help than the words that were inside, I found them condescending and unhelpful and a little whimsical.

When I read the blurb for Ten Times Happier it sounded promising and the mention of “ Do you want a down to earth guide from a professional  on how you can be happier minus the fairy dust?” won me over even if there was still a part of me believing that this was going to be another waste of my time.

Really I could just review this book as simply as THANK YOU to Owen O’Kane and I am not too proud to say that I had a little weep at a couple of points reading this book and a big snotty one when finishing it at then end as it felt like for the first time in two and a half years some one actually GOT me and listened to me without evening having to meet me or talk!

I lost my husband to Suicide in February 2019, we walked the river twice a day to try and find his body which prolonged the funeral and the coroners court and the grieving process, like him I also tried to seek help in my feelings later that year but there was a long waiting list and then Covid hit so I have never received help. I turned to my old faithful friend reading to try and find help amongst the pages and all the books later I finally found this book that has felt like it understood me. No it isn’t a magic cure but it is a little light that makes you see things differently and gives you ways of coping and processing different things. 

We all struggle with many different things that cause unhappiness from relationships, money, anxiety and depression, addiction, grief and so on. Some chapters you will resonate with more than others, I have a couple that literally felt like they were written for me and I was sitting there nodding away as each thing he mentioned was so true. Chapter 10 which is about being fixated on uncertainty concerning the future was one I will continually go back to. I can not tell you the last time I was truly happy and comfortable or when I last laughed properly. I find going to parties or gatherings with friends and family particularly overwhelming and it makes me fell like I don’t belong anymore and this was also something that one of his cases he mentioned felt and it was a light relief to know that it isn’t just me who feels like this. “I’m not sure I will ever laugh properly again” is what the person in question said and that hit hard as I have had this thought so often.

Another part that sticks in my mind is that of living simply and living for the day and being content with what we have as we are not in control of the future so as much as we can plan all we like things will always come up that can put the plan of course so at least if you can enjoy today you are not missing out on your future,

The way in which the author writes the book is literally like you are sitting there in a room with him speaking to you his voices flowing through the pages with just his attention and focus on you. I read this on kindle but I am that blown away by this book and have found it so helpful I am going to get the audio to listen to on my way to work in the mornings when I am having one of those I can’t face the world today moments and also a paperback to post it note all the pages that I feel help me. Chapter 11 was another chapter that resonated with me and I really wish that there was more help readily out there because talking about traumatic situations is important in the road to recovery rather than doing what myself and a lot of others do and jus have to try and pack it away in a box to try and get through a “normal” day and yet still relive the event every day as though it has only just happened. Unfortunately when a loved one dies other day to day struggles don't avoid you and the bills still come rolling in so we can't all pay for therapy so we have to just get on with it and so this little book I hope will help someone like it has felt like a listening and encouraging ear to me.

I would definitely whole heartedly recommend this book for anyone who is looking for a little down to earth honest help to find that little glisten of happiness again. I will read anything this man writes because he has made me feel like there is a small  chance of finding a little happiness once again.


Paperback                                         Kindle

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